Here’s Thea. You pronounce her name as spelled or in our
local tongue “Tia.” She’s such a lovely dog. She’s a mix breed: Husky and a
smaller breed (Chihuahua?
I’m not sure). She’s very friendly with women. But with men, she hides. Here’s
her story as told by my friend Jennie:
When she was a pup, she and her siblings were abused by your
typical “manong” caretaker while the owners weren’t looking. When the puppies
would howl (since part of them were Husky) or bark (since some were of the
other smaller breed), they would spanked really hard. It’s their nature to
howl. It’s their nature to bark. They don’t know any better since they were
puppies. And if I’m not mistaken, some even died because of the abuse. So Thea,
who got adopted (thank goodness), has always been afraid of men. Especially the
ones who look like your typical “manong” carpenter or house boy.
Jennie says “it’s just like any woman. You hurt them enough,
or mistreat them, they end up hiding from the hurt and sometimes we just go to
our room just like Thea.” I said back “I apologize for all the guys who hurt
you. And Thea.” We end up laughing and she says “good thing she’s starting to
approach you, she can tell you’re not bad.” It’s a good sign I think.
Thea’s story reminds me of stories of friends who
experienced trauma in different forms. A loss in the family or loved one, abuse
by others, heart break, misunderstandings, and all the sort. Well, since this
is public, I’d like to say I am sorry for those I may have caused some
traumatic experiences to. I’m sorry if I didn’t try hard enough. I’m sorry if I
became selfish. I’m sorry if it seems I just disappeared. I’m sorry for the
excuses I make to justify my holding back from truly giving everything. I’m
sorry for the hurt I caused. I am still learning to balance things since I guess, I’ve been hurting too with all the
insecurities I have from the traumatic experiences I went through too. But that’s
just another excuse. I will one day let go of my excuses, and just give. And do
what is right.
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