I got this as a gift last last Christmas and use it everyday. When I go on trips this is definitely on my hand carry. Since I don't feel satisfied just reading a devotional once, I extend it's life for another 365 days by starting all over for another year since I feel I need to reread them. I do have other books but sometimes I feel I didn't digest some of the devotion days that maybe the second time around I'll learn something better. Today I'm feeling uneasy on things, and the devotion today is about having that quiet surrender.
Psalm 46:10 - Be still, and know that I am God.
I'm just having some difficulties right now. I know I can handle them but I'm shook. Quiet surrender. What else should I surrender I ask myself? So much has been taken away already. Yes. Drama. Well, I hope for a sweet dream just like what I had yesterday. At least with dreams they tend to be how I wish things were. Sweet and all. Sigh. I can vision my future filled with ease and comfort. I have so many plans that I've plotted and even timelines and I do wish to live those dreams and I'm trying hard to make them happen. However, will they just be dreams? Ranting yes. Yes I'll be scolded that to pray and to align it with God's plan. Yes. I know. This is a rant. I'm no superhero. Yes I was told by someone close to my heart not to worry but I can't help it. Maybe I need more sleep. Maybe I need a hug. Maybe I need some reassurance that things will be better. Maybe I wish to be more braver. Maybe I wish there was someone I could just run to and be accepted for whatever. Maybe I wish I was cared for because I don't feel it (and because I'm just too thick skinned and blind on things). Maybe I just feel alone. Maybe I am alone. Maybe it's just a moment. Yes it's just a moment. But I hate these moments. I tell everyone that things are ok most of the time and things will be better and doubt is from the enemy and here I am ranting! Even my paintings are getting affected:-s
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| good thing this was a practice piece... well I'll dub it as a practice piece |
I know I know this is just a moment and I do apologize to you reader(s?).
Well, sorry this isn't a happy post but yes things will be better. We have our ups and downs.
In the future, I'll look back at this post and laugh about it. Who knows it might be day 23 when I do just that.
But for now, I'll try to go on quiet surrender and to be still and let God be God. Let's take that challenge no matter how frustrated we may be now. Rant a bit and carry on. Be still, I know!:-p
